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I Don’t Like White People Either

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I Bleached My Asshole For This

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I Am The Path Of Least Resistance

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I Dream Of Weenie

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I Can Run An 11 Minute Mile

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I Don’t Need 140 Characters To Say Fuck You

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I Can’t Believe I Slept With Three People Or More To Get This Job

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I Bring Nothing To The Table

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I Cannot And I Can’t Stress This Enough

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I Don’t Like Jokes On Shirts

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I Am The White Man Who’s Been Keeping You Down

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I Bet You’ll Vote Next Time Snowflake (Donald Trump)

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I Got Saint-Faced On Shit Patrick’s Day

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I Committed Suicide

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I Fucking Love To Cuddle

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I Have Six Words For You

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I Eat More Pussy Than Alf

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I Enjoy Entertainment

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I Always Signal While Driving

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I Buy Crystal Meth For The Sudafed

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I Don’t Like Me Either

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I Am The Ninja Your Parents Warned You About

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I Didn’t Buy This Shirt Because It Says Fuck On It. I Bought It Because It Says Fuck On It Twice

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I Dumped Adele

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I Could Use A Little Sexual Harassment

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I Believe In Happy Endings

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I Can’t. I Have Gymnastics

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I Put The Syn In Synagogue

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I Put The Porn In Popcorn

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I Put The Lotion In The Basket On The First Date