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I Didn’t Come Here To Impress None Of You Motherfuckers

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I Always Signal While Driving

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I Buy Crystal Meth For The Sudafed

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I Am Not An Ambulance

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I Am The Ninja Your Parents Warned You About

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I Didn’t Buy This Shirt Because It Says Fuck On It. I Bought It Because It Says Fuck On It Twice

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I Didn’t Get A Gift Receipt

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I Could Use A Little Sexual Harassment

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I Believe In Happy Endings

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I Am Not A Duck

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I Put The Syn In Synagogue

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I Put The Porn In Popcorn

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I Put The In Lazy

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I Put The Christ Ma! In Christmas

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I Put The Cute In Execute

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I Meet Or Exceed Expectations

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I No Longer Want To Participate In This Nonsense

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I Have That Disease Where I Look Like This

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I Like Long Walks On The Beach After Anal

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I Love Watermelon & Fried Chicken Too

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I Hope There Is An Afterlife So I Can Waste That Too

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I Like My Women Like I Like My Tractors

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I Pack Normally But I Move In Mysterious Ways

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I Practice Elf-Love

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I Like All That Shit You Like Too! Let’s Fuck!

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I Like My Women Like I Like My Coffee – Ground Up And In The Freezer

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I Heart Transitive Pictograph Verbalizations

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I Look Like Marcia But I Fuck Like Jan

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I May Have Alzheimer’s But At Least I Don’t Have Alzheimer’s

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I Kiss My Hot Friends For Cash