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I Practice Elf-Love

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I Pound Beers For Jesus

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I Ruined It For Everyone

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I Heart Transitive Pictograph Verbalizations

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I Made Sure To Wear This Shirt Just For This Special Occasion

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I Keep Forgetting About Dre

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I Kiss My Hot Friends For Cash

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I Just Came Here To Incite An Erection

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I Like Capping Fools

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I Make Bitches Cry

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I Only Watch Porn That Passes The Bechdel Test

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I Hope I Don’t Black Out Because This Is Awesome!

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I Met My Wife On Ancestry.com

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I Only Support Gay Marriage If Both Chicks Are Hot

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I Invented Al Gore

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I Just Got My Nails Did

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I Joined The Mile High Club (If That Means Tickling The Pilot)

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I Know Violence Isn’t The Answer – I Got It Wrong On Purpose

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Elitist Election Riggers (Blue States) – Racist Conspiracy Theorists (Red States)

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Dreidel I Thought That Was A Butt Plug. Uh…Happy Hanukkah!

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Dorky

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Dude Looks Like A Lady

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I Still Play With Dolls

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Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful – Hate Me Because I Fucked Your Dad

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I Support A Climate’s Right To Choose

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Earth Kicks Ass

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I Support Balloon Animal Rights

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Donkey Show

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I Steal Candy From Children

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I Support Single Moms