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I Put The Sexy In Dyslexia

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I Put The In Lazy

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I Put The Christ Ma! In Christmas

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I Only Wear This Shirt On Days Ending With Dystopian Landscape

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I Meet Or Exceed Expectations

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I No Longer Want To Participate In This Nonsense

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I Put Out For Santa

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I Like Long Walks On The Beach After Anal

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I Love Watermelon & Fried Chicken Too

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I Love Bush! (The Foliage Not The President)- And I Don’t Mean Foliage The Way You May Think

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I Like My Women Like I Like My Tractors

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I Pack Normally But I Move In Mysterious Ways

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I Ruined It For Everyone

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I Like All That Shit You Like Too! Let’s Fuck!

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I Like My Women Like I Like My Coffee – Ground Up And In The Freezer

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I Keep Forgetting About Dre

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I Look Like Marcia But I Fuck Like Jan

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I May Have Alzheimer’s But At Least I Don’t Have Alzheimer’s

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I Like Capping Fools

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I Just Killed A Clown

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I Just Hope They Don’t Put Tariffs On My Asian Hooker

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I Hope I Don’t Black Out Because This Is Awesome!

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I Need A Girl Who Can Handle My Load

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I Invented A New Drinking Game – It’s Called Drink Till You’ll Fuck Me

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I Invented Al Gore

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I Heart Jesus (And French Fries)

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I Love (Heart) Redundancy

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I Know Violence Isn’t The Answer – I Got It Wrong On Purpose

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I Just Support Fish

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Dude My Dad Made This Shit