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I’d Only End Up Hurting You

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I Tested Positive For Being Fucking Awesome

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I Wanna Put My (Cock) In Your (Pussy) And Smack Your (Giraffe)

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I Was With Stupid

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I’d Rather Be Snorting Cocaine Off A Hooker’s Ass

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I’ll Be Back (C-3Po)

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I Was Voted Class Orthodontist At Clown College

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I Think Therefore I’m Single

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I Want Someone To Blow Me For Who I Am

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I’d Rather Be Fighting The Man

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I Washed My Ass Today – Just In Case

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I’m One Bad Date From Becoming A Cat Lady

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I’m The Reason For Santa’s Naughty List

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I’m The Asshole In The Comments Section

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I’ll Be Using These To My Advantage

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I’m Not Haitian But I’ll Eat Your Kitty

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I’m Like The Michael Jordan Of Standing In This Spot

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I’m The One You Gotta Blow To Get A Drink Around Here

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I’m Not Racist. Some Of My Facebook Friends Are Black

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I’m Not Fighting The Man – I Just Like Fisting

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I’m The Teenage Girl You Jerked Off In The Chatroom With

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I’m Not Getting Fatter I’m Experiencing Inflation

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I’m Not Gay – I Only Help Out When They Are Busy

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I’m Not Gay But My Asshole Is

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I’m Not Autistic I’m Just An Asshole

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I’m Not Getting Jiggy – I Have Parkinson’s

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I’ll Have The White And Dark Meat

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I’m So Gay I’m Almost Straight

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I’m Not Trans. I Just Want To Watch Your Daughter Pee

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I’m My Own Wingman